PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
