drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's blow job season.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
