he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
