basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
