Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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