Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
