Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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