I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
