im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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