a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize