if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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