I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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