Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
