It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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