Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hello my rib-scented angel!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
