i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
