well most of my day revolves around power hour
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
