Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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