Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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