There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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