we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
