don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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