Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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