I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
