I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize