the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
