why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
