at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
