Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
