i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
