I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
