I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
