i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
