there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
