I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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