The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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