I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
