Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize