just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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