never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
