The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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