U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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