i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
