Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
