Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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