last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
