Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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