i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Randomize
