I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
