you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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