So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
