Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
