She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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