He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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