Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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