omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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