we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My pussy is not your playground.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
