just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
