Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
