New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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