i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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