these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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