just come out here and I will go home with you...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
