): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
